The Manchester United ‘unHappy Meal’ | Seriously Football

OK. I’m not happy. You’re not happy. We need to talk about Man United….again.

You thought it couldn’t get any worse. You thought they’d rise to occasion You thought the ultimate EPL rivalry would have Man Utd flying again

But then again - you probably didn’t. Because Utd really have been that bad.

Now, don't get me wrong - in sports there’s a ton of different ways to suck. You can lose ‘heroically’ and give everyone a good lesson in the power of the human spirit. You can lose ‘beautifully’ and still have a starring role on the highlight reel.

But Man Utd are cooking up brand new ways to lose in the worst possible style. So let’s have a look at what’s happening on their ‘unHappy Meal’ menu.

#1 The Mc-Fred - Lose by putting all your trust in Mctominay and Fred.

Midfield pairings should inspire fear in the opposition. This one wouldn’t inspire fear at a conference for the clinically terrified. Fred and McTominay make it Christmas EVERYDAY for EVERY OTHER EPL team.

#2 The Pog-bad - Lose by putting your trust in the ultimate millennial player. 

Leave Pogba on the bench for 45 minutes. Bring Pogba off the bench when you're 4-nil down. Pogba returns to the bench with a straight red card ten minutes later. PogBAD. See what I did there?

#3 The Bru-no - Lose through heavy reliance on a luxury player. 

Sure, Bruno Fernandez can change a game with a second of genius. But guess what? There are 5,399 OTHER seconds in a game where this guy’s as a total spectator

Bruno is the main reason they play 4/2/3/1 - which is also the main reason they play the Mc-Fred combo. So the Brun-no/McFred  is actually like some kind of an unHappy Meal combo from hell. Well, Portugal actually.

#4 The Jadon ‘Bencho’ - Lose with 150 million dollars of wasted talent on the bench. 

If you’re gonna go down in flames in front of 76,000 fans AND millions watching worldwide - why not do it in front of benched superstar whose careers you’ve destroyed as well? 

We all thought Jadon Sancho and Donny Van de Beek would raise their benchmark at Man Utd - and sure enough, they’re making more and more of a mark on that Old Trafford bench every single week.

#5 Harry Maguire

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There’s no actual joke here - just Harry Maguire.

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So take your pick from Old Trafford’s unHappy Meal menu. It probably won't be long until Man Utd have a new manager, but with the McFred, Pog-bad, Bru-no, and Bencho still up there on the board, don't expect too many happy Man U fans anytime soon.