Frank Lampard to save Norwich City? SERIOUSLY?

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Frank Lampard; the managerial vacancy at Norwich City; and the most famous nautical disaster of all time. Seriously?

It’s story time, people. The year is 1912. You’re a sailor. And you fancy yourself as a pretty good one at that. You’ve been out of work for a while and you have the sneaking suspicion that your nautical skills aren't taken that seriously. 

Then along comes an opportunity to Captain a ship. Plenty of prestige, plenty of attention, plenty of ambition. Only one problem - that ship is the Titanic and it's definitely going down.

You can show off your skills to the whole world - but only in a context of certain failure. 

Fast forward 99 years - and that’s pretty much the dilemma facing Frank Lampard - as he weighs up the top job on Norwich City’s sinking ship.

I say ‘top job’ but it's really the bottom job. As in ‘rooted-to-the-bottom job’. As in ‘basically-already-in-the-league-below job’. 

While Pep Guardiola continues to innovate at Man City with a ‘false nine’ approach that utilizes no recognized striker, Norwich have been employing  a ‘false 1 through 11’ approach that utilizes no recognized footballers. 

There’s no way they can recover. Even with 27 games to play and 81 points still to play for they’ll definitely be relegated. So is Frank Lampard the man to take them forward? Or rather - to take them...down.

Lampard was an INCREDIBLE player for club and country - a box to box midfielder who could make up the distance on the pitch. But it turns out, ‘distance’ is precisely what he lacks as a manager.

Consider that live radio debacle. Frank was being dissed on a call-in show. Now - that’s part and parcel of being a celeb, you might think. You have millions in the banks. You live in a mansion. You and your family are set for life. Who cares if people don't get me? Breath - get some perspective. 

Not Frank though. He got straight on the phone and called the show, and had a live 25 minute blowout with the host. 

And then there’s the whole Anfield melt-down thing. His team was losing. A few choice words from the opposition bench, and Lampard goes beserk - all audible because the stadium was empty.

So Frank would hardly steady the ship at Norwich. BUT -  if a ship is sinking does it actually need steadying in the first place?

In a way, what Norwich really needs is entertainment, not leadership. The real job vacancy they have is for a band who’ll keep playing as the ship goes down. 

Ed Sheeran supports local rivals Ipswitch so that isn’t happening. And - as it’s all going to end in tears anyway - maybe Frank Lampard really is the right man for the job after all.